Funny Christmas Gifts for Coworkers, Picked by Type of Coworker
Graduate Who Accidentally Replied All 'Love This!' To Gift Swap Email Is Now The Entire Party Planning Committee
On Monday at 8:47am, People and Culture emailed the whole floor about a Christmas gift swap. Zoe, Graduate Analyst (still excited), meant to forward it to her friend Mia with "love this! lol". She replied all. Without the "lol".
By 9:15am the email had been forwarded to the leadership team with one line: "Great to see Zoe stepping up." By 10am she had been added to the Party Planning Committee. She is the only member. The committee's first job is a Christmas gift for everyone on her team. There are six of them, and she has spoken to two.
Zoe does not want to disappoint the partner who said she was stepping up. So the committee, all of it, starts exploring . . .
The gifts
Grouped by type of coworker. The types overlap: most engineers are also tired, and every new starter is on mute by February. Mix and match.
For the engineer
Excuses for Demo Day
Every excuse for the demo that worked ten minutes ago, in one small book. Fits in a laptop bag and reads in about one stand-up. Full disclosure: we publish this one.
Source: The Corporate Copium Press, on AmazonShips to: wherever Amazon does
YARN Debugging Duck
A rubber duck in a cape, for explaining the bug out loud until the bug explains itself. It listens better than the rest of the team and never asks for a ticket number.
Source: DebuggingDucks on EtsyShips to: US, UK, AU
Engineering Excuse Dice
Three dice covered in reasons the project is late, including feature creep and work halted. Roll them in sprint planning. Nobody will notice the difference.
Source: NewCometGames on EtsyShips to: US, UK, AU
For the consultant
Sh!t Consultants Say Unironically
Every phrase they have said on a client call this year, collected and illustrated so they can finally hear how it sounds. Light enough for carry-on. Full disclosure: we publish this one too.
Source: The Corporate Copium Press, on AmazonShips to: wherever Amazon does
SYNERGY! Sticker
Comic-book lettering for the word they say forty times a day. It goes on the laptop lid, facing the client.
Source: RiehlandSchultz on EtsyShips to: US
For the burnt-out one
Daily Affirmations for the Unwell Corporate Worker
Sixty affirmations for people who are fine, thanks for asking. One a day is about as much as they have the energy for. We publish this one as well.
Source: The Corporate Copium Press, on AmazonShips to: wherever Amazon does
Running on Fumes Candle
A candle with the honest answer to "how are you" printed on the front. Lighting it will be the most self-care they do all week.
Source: CelestharaByThara on EtsyShips to: US
For the boss
Those Are Your Monkeys Mug
"This is your circus and those are your monkeys." Put the team's names on the monkeys and give it from everyone, so nobody has to own the joke alone.
Source: MSclothesdesigns on EtsyShips to: US
World's Okayest Boss Mug
The safest joke on this page. Affectionate, honest, and true of most bosses, who will use it every day and pretend it is ironic.
Source: JGMerchandise on EtsyShips to: US, UK, AU
For the new starter
Sarcastic Sticky Notes Bundle
Post-it pads of stick figures at their desks, including "I'm fine. Everything is FINE." The new starter will use them to leave notes, and the team will finally know they have a sense of humour.
Source: NirvanaByDesignShop on EtsyShips to: US
Corporate Buzzword Bingo Cards
Printable bingo cards for their first all-hands. It is a download, so it arrives the minute you buy it and gets printed on the office printer, once someone tells them where it is.
Source: CubicleChroniclesUS on EtsyShips to: anywhere, it's a PDF
For the one on mute
You're On Mute Sticker
A round sticker for the laptop lid, so it says the line for everyone else. Cheap enough to buy one for the whole team.
Source: StickeringAbout on EtsyShips to: US, UK, AU
Virtual Meeting Desk Warning Sign
A tiny yellow wet-floor sign that says VIRTUAL MEETING IN PROGRESS. For the person who comes into the office to sit on calls, so people stop asking if they are free.
Source: Boxer GiftsShips to: US, UK, AU
