What is Secret Santa?

The office gift swap. Everyone's name goes into a hat, everyone draws one, and you buy a gift for the person you drew without telling them it was you. There's usually a spending limit.

Is it the same as Kris Kringle?

Yes. It's Kris Kringle in Australia and Canada, Kris Kindle in Ireland, Wichteln or Julklapp in Germany, Amigo Secreto across Spain, Portugal and Latin America, and Monito-Monita in the Philippines.

How much should you spend?

Whatever the limit says. If nobody set one, $30 is a good middle: enough for something decent, not so much that it gets weird.

What do you get a coworker you don't know?

Something for their desk that's funny about work in general. Desk figures, small books and anything you can wear on a Friday don't rely on knowing their taste.

What should you not get?

A scented candle (the office got nine last year, all vanilla). Supermarket chocolates. Anything with the company logo on it. Anything about how they look, which reads as a hint in front of 30 people.

Are funny gifts OK at work?

Yes. Most people would rather open something that makes the room laugh. Keep the joke about work, not about them.

Gift Guide

Funny Secret Santa Gifts for Coworkers (All Under $30)

By Bernie Out · 23 October 2026 · 2 min read

Comic: Jeff at a lunch table, fork in the air, staring at his phone in horror while his friends laugh — Wednesday, 1:14pm. The exact moment.

Man Remembers Secret Santa 48 Hours Before Secret Santa

Jeff, Graduate Analyst (still excited), was eating his Fishbowl at 1:14pm together with his friends when his Slack pinged.

⏰ Reminder: Secret Santa is THIS FRIDAY! $30 limit. Don't forget your gift.

Sh*t. Who did he even draw again? ☠️

Jeff finds the crumpled-up piece of paper on his desk, where it has been living since November.

James. From finance.

Jeff only knows three things about James:

He's a man, which already makes him the hardest person on earth to buy for.
He was there at 8pm that one time Jeff had to work late.
He once said "living the dream" in a way that was almost scary.

Jeff starts Googling. Everything is generic, nothing will arrive by Friday, and every price has been mysteriously jacked up for Christmas. He has $30 in his account, and payday isn't until next Thursday.

In a state of desperation, Jeff opens ChatGPT and types: "what to buy a coworker I don't know well for secret santa that isn't lame, under $30, and delivers asap".

Lucky for Jeff, ChatGPT ranked the Copium Press as one of the top results. 💁‍♀️

The gifts

Daily Affirmations for the Unwell Corporate Worker, front cover

1. Daily Affirmations for the Unwell Corporate Worker

Sixty pages of affirmations for people who are fine, thanks for asking. Small enough for a desk drawer, and it works on anyone who has ever said "I'm at capacity" in a meeting.

It's sold on Amazon, so if you have Prime (or start a free trial), it can turn up as soon as the next day in a lot of places. Which, if you are reading this on a Wednesday, is the whole point.

Comic: Jeff on his doorstep hugging a parcel, eyes closed, saying Thank you Jeff Bezos — Thursday, 11:40am. Prime delivered.

Source: The Corporate Copium Press, on Amazon

The Emotional Support Goose on a desk, glasses on, sign around its neck — Photo: BlueCrab3DPrints

2. Emotional Support Goose

A seven-inch goose for the desk, with swappable glasses and a little sign. It doesn't talk in meetings, doesn't reply-all, and looks unbothered at all times. Made to order by a small shop in California.

Source: BlueCrab3DPrints on Etsy

Tiny Violin kit: the box, the four-inch violin on its stand and the booklet — Photo: Running Press

3. Tiny Violin: Soundtrack for Your Sob Story

A four-inch violin that plays a sad tune at the press of a button. The correct response to "my Monday has been insane". Press play, say nothing.

Source: Running Press, at bookshops

Black dad hat embroidered with PER MY LAST EMAIL — Photo: IMPURETHOUGHTS

4. "Per My Last Email" Dad Hat

An embroidered cotton cap that says "per my last email". The politest way anyone has ever said "I already told you". Made to order by a shop in Los Angeles.

Source: IMPURETHOUGHTS on Etsy

Burnout Duck figurine slumped in a little office chair — Photo: DreamNestPrint

5. Burnout Duck Figurine

A small duck slumped in an office chair. No caption needed. Everyone who walks past will say "that's me", which is the whole point. Printed to order by a shop in Canada.

Source: DreamNestPrint on Etsy

White mug printed with a Meeting Buzzword Bingo card — Photo: GymBully

6. Meeting Buzzword Bingo Mug

A mug printed with twenty-five meeting phrases, including circle back, bandwidth and take this offline. It suits anyone who goes to meetings, which covers James.

Source: GymBully on EtsyShips to: US, UK, AU

Big yellow push button reading DAMMIT! The Official Button of Mondays — Photo: NSFWbuttons

7. DAMMIT Button

A big yellow button that shouts DAMMIT when pressed. It works on people you know nothing about, because everyone has a Monday.

Source: NSFWbuttons on EtsyShips to: US, UK, AU

Office Citation notepad with tick boxes for office offences — Photo: Knock Knock

8. Office Citation Pad

A pad of tickets for office crimes, from talking too loud to not refilling the printer. At $7 it leaves enough of the $30 for lunch.

Source: Knock KnockShips to: US

Pack of five Passive Aggressive Pens with printed phrases — Photo: Off the Wagon

9. Passive Aggressive Pens

Five pens printed with five sentences, including "let me know when you're done being wrong." Everyone needs a pen, and these ones get used.

Source: Off the WagonShips to: US

Red and white push button reading You're on mute — Photo: Bubblegum Stuff

10. You're On Mute Sound Button

Press it and it says "you're on mute" out loud. Every team has one person who needs it, and they never know it is them.

Source: Bubblegum StuffShips to: US, UK, AU

FAQ

What is Secret Santa?: The office gift swap. Everyone's name goes into a hat, everyone draws one, and you buy a gift for the person you drew without telling them it was you. There's usually a spending limit.
Is it the same as Kris Kringle?: Yes. It's Kris Kringle in Australia and Canada, Kris Kindle in Ireland, Wichteln or Julklapp in Germany, Amigo Secreto across Spain, Portugal and Latin America, and Monito-Monita in the Philippines.
How much should you spend?: Whatever the limit says. If nobody set one, $30 is a good middle: enough for something decent, not so much that it gets weird.
What do you get a coworker you don't know?: Something for their desk that's funny about work in general. Desk figures, small books and anything you can wear on a Friday don't rely on knowing their taste.
What should you not get?: A scented candle (the office got nine last year, all vanilla). Supermarket chocolates. Anything with the company logo on it. Anything about how they look, which reads as a hint in front of 30 people.
Are funny gifts OK at work?: Yes. Most people would rather open something that makes the room laugh. Keep the joke about work, not about them.