21 Unhinged Email Sign-Offs For When “Warm Regards” Would Be A Lie

Lawyer Spends 40 Minutes Choosing Email Sign-Off, Bills Client For 36 Of Them

Emma, Senior Associate (bills in six-minute increments), finished a two-line email to the other side at 4:12pm on Thursday. The sign-off took until 4:52pm.

"Kind regards" felt too kind. "Regards" felt like a threat she was not ready to make yet. "Best" was what she had sent last time, and last time they had ignored it. She typed "Warm regards" and deleted it, because she did not feel warm and the firm has a policy on accuracy.

Writing “Warm Regards” on a passive aggressive work email

At 4:30pm the junior sent her this page.

At 4:52pm she sent it with "Regards," and no adjective. The other side replied in four minutes. Emma billed 36 minutes for the sign-off. The junior billed six for finding this page.

21 sign-offs, ranked

From the tamest to the most career-limiting. The first five are safe anywhere. After twelve, read the room. Number twenty-one is for your last week.

1. Best,The default. It means nothing, which is exactly what it is for.
2. Thanks in advance,Polite on paper. Everyone reads it as "you are now doing this".
3. Warmly,For a person you have never met and never will.
4. Cheers,Friendly in Sydney and London. In New York it reads like you are already at the pub.
5. Regards,No adjective. They will notice the missing adjective.
6. Looking forward to your swift reply,It is not a hope. It is a deadline in a nice shirt.
7. As discussed,For something that was never discussed. Bold, and it usually works.
8. Per my last three emails,For when one was not enough. Neither were two.
9. Have a great weekend,Sent on a Tuesday. It means stop emailing me.
10. Sent from my phone, please excuse the brevity, the typos and the tone,Covers everything in advance. Also works from a desk.
11. Best of luck with that,Not a wish. A forecast.
12. Hope this helps. It won't.At least it's honest.
13. Lukewarm regards,For when warm would be a lie and kind would be a stretch.
14. Sent with the last of my patience,Not a figure of speech.
15. Yours in Christ,For a sign-off that only a miracle will get approved. Once per career.
16. Let me know if you have any questions (please don't),The brackets are doing a lot of work.
17. Circling back on my circle back,Third follow-up territory. Copy their manager this time.
18. Copying in my manager for visibility,The nuclear option, with good manners.
19. Sent from the car park, where I have been sitting for forty minutes,Accurate. Not recommended.
20. Regards, and see you in mediation,Not a threat. A calendar invite.
21. Please do not reply to this email,Sent from your own address, to your own team. The most career-limiting line on this page, and the most satisfying.